One of my new favorite things in the world (and I do say this carefully) is when much of what we have planned for worship goes completely out the window. I mean two weeks in a row now, something has gone "wrong" in worship and even though I feel completely out of control when it happens, God reassures me that it's not intended for me to be in control.
Last week, I felt like I was playing piano for the first time ever. I don't really know what happened, but I just felt like I had lost all control of playing simple chords and keeping the band together. At one point, I had to just stop what I was doing in the middle of worship and just pray because I understood at that moment that I couldn't "work my way out of my problem." I explained to the congregation that I just needed to stop and pray and something happened at that moment. I felt a connection with one person in the congregation in particular. Something about the way he was just nodding his head and closing his eyes almost like God was using him to tell me, "Yes...just talk to me." I am not sure who the person was or what he might have been feeling at that moment, but for me, it was a huge blessing. I didn't feel like the leader of a worship band or the guy who was playing the keyboard trying not to mess up anymore. I felt like someone who had nothing much to give and in need of God's presence. Powerful stuff for my soul.
This week, our primary video projector mysteriously stopped working. The tech team and myself worked on it for a couple of hours leading up to worship trying to fix it, but it was a no go. This particular Sunday, we had more video incorporation into the service than we had planned for in the entire summer to date. Again, I just sat back and said, "God...I know it's not the end of the world, but how are people going to get what we have planned for them today?" Gently again, He answered through His people. I explained to everyone what was going on and that there would be some improv and some additional effort on their part to turn around and see the back screen in order to view the videos/song lyrics/etc. The second song we sang was Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone). Now I understand that this is an extremely familiar hymn, but God once again showed up. During the song, I surveyed the congregation and noticed a large number of people neglecting to turn to see the words in order to just let go and worship to the message it had. Old, young, and the in-betweens were just absorbed by the music/lyrics. Another soul soother.
So dare I ask that next Sunday provide some more mishaps in order to allow God to shine? As someone who always feel the need to be in control, I think I am turning over a new leaf.
All this to say........IT'S NOT ABOUT A PRODUCTION!
Sometimes I think my life is a show or production... always having to perform, or put on the church face, or even just being me sometimes feels like a production. Congratulations on finding God's silver lining in the cloud placed in front of you on Sunday. That's true growth, in my opinion.
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